Monday, 31 December 2012
I feel so much more myself these days. This year has truly taught me about my centre and being authentic and how to express LOVE and PEACE more fluidly. I began the year feverish and trying everything I could to fix my life from the outside in. I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted things to look like and I was hell bent on making it happen. My spirit, the Universe and everything In between had other ideas. One small sleepless night in March started a sequence of events that has brought me to a place I thought I had let go of a long time ago.
This year taught me to truly respect myself and those around me. Some people have joined me on that journey this year and some have fallen away, I love them all non the less. It has been trying at times to draw that circle around myself, to treat myself and my environment as sacred. I have learned the real gift of being myself and finding my authenticity again. I had lost it, given parts of myself away to people who I thought knew better and in claiming it back I realised it's strength. When you truly stand in your own shoes, with your own voice in your own head you are unstoppable. You see where your energy has been leaking out and where you have been giving it away.
I have well and truly let go of the image of my life and have surrendered to it's substance. I no longer judge myself through other people's eyes or live by others standards. Believe me I was shocked to find out that I was still doing that. My creativity collapsed around me only to be rebuilt. I reawoke the dream I had as a seven year old to become a writer and finally let myself create in that way again. I learned to love art in a new way and built a community to share it. I even learned to love music again, this time with complete respect for myself and those within and around it.
This year has been a beginning for me. A lot of things have been set into motion, the fruit of which I might not see for a little while yet. The new house, going on holiday, meeting new people, starting a book, setting up an exhibition, cancelling a tour, starting an album, creating new partnerships, this whole process has been a rebirth and sharing it with you has been incredible. I finally live in reverance for my life and I am excited to see where it takes me.
Sunday, 2 December 2012
Getting ready to take my work to the gallery!
Sometimes I can surprise myself how much I've changed. This year has been such a steep learning curve in self respect and self honour and I am so glad to have finally come to this space. I've let go of a lot of old habits and old thoughts and I've even let go of a few people, all of which has helped me to rise to a deeper understanding of myself. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned so far this year is to completely heal my relationship with loving others. Looking back I can see that I used to believe that if I loved you in any way shape or form then in that I also gave people the right to treat me any way they chose. I made excuses for others behaviours based on MY caring for their well being. I even in most cases put their needs before mine. That has all changed.
I have definitely been ready this year to put in place the boundaries and self protective energies around me and fill myself with healing and self love so that a line drawn to respect and protect myself wouldn't feel like revenge or malice. I am simply not where I used to be. I don't think like I used to think and I don't behave like I used to behave. From where I am now I look back and cringe at some of things I've said and done. The way I used to let people treat me used to turn my stomach but these days I am more and more at peace with it. I have forgiven and let go. I am absolutely certain that without the sour my life wouldn't be so sweet.
December the first was yesterday and I can feel a new energy wake and crawl into my system. I am catching glimpse's of a new person waking up within me and it feels gorgeous. I am still working on the pace and momentum of my creativity and the knowledge that peace works on its own time still needs to reach some corners of my mind. I am ready for it to do so though. I have project after project lined up and ready for me to delve into although I still haven't found that new thing I want to learn. Each year I choose to learn a new skill. It doesn't have to be anything huge, yodelling, the cello, painting, crafting, sewing, anything really. I've been looking at maybe sculpting or leather craft. I suppose it's a whole year so I could choose a few things but one will be enough to think about now.
I have a BIG week of readings ahead and the Christmas Rush has begun. I am eager to meet new people and see new things and see if this new evolution plays out in my work. I know over the last few years I've been getting more sensitive to energies which has been playing out in my readings so I wonder if this is part of that? We'll see and I'l keep you posted! On this lazy rainy Sunday I am going for a hot Sunday dinner in my favourite local and then to pick up the artwork from the gallery, after that it's a well deserved rest ready for the week ahead!
Some pics from the gallery!
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